Tainted Light (Codex Blair Book 7) Read online

  “My friend is in trouble,” I said. It wasn’t a lie. “I need to do a spell to locate him so I can save him, but it requires an ingredient I don’t have access to.”

  She arched one thick eyebrow. “You’re welcome to buy whatever you need.”

  “I know,” I said, unable to help from grinning. Ever since the ordeal with Lilith, I’d been welcome to frequent her shop, which was a blessing. Lillai had a great deal more variety than your average occult shop when it came to ingredients, and other materials, necessary for rituals—things that had been difficult for me to find before. I was a regular now, and very grateful for it. “What I’m looking for you can’t sell.”

  “Tch. Then I fail to see why you are here,” she said.

  “You can help me.” I leaned forward. “Look, I really hate even to ask this. You know I wouldn’t if it weren’t a matter of life and death, but it is. And this person is special to me.” I swallowed thickly. Just saying the words hurt, but I didn’t want to acknowledge that. “I need the essence of a seer.”

  Her eyes widened, then narrowed. “Why?”

  “I told you, for a locating spell.”

  “You shouldn’t need that for such a spell. It’s too much to ask, regardless.”

  I gritted my teeth. “It’s a difficult spell. Unique. My friend isn’t on Earth anymore. I can’t find him with a normal spell.”

  She uttered words in another language, her fingers flying to etch some symbol I couldn’t understand in the air.

  “If the Fae has taken your friend, he is beyond you now. You would do better to give up.”

  “I can’t give up, Lillai. I don’t know where he is—I need to find out. He would do no less for me. If he’s with the Fae, I can bargain with them. I’ve dealt with the Fae before.”

  Her eyes turned steely. “Yes, I imagine you have.”

  The fuck?

  She pursed her lips, tapping one finger on the worn wooden counter. Deliberating. “There is one seer I know who might be willing to help you. What you ask is too much, however…”

  However? I tried not to let the eagerness show in my eyes.

  “You are well loved in the community,” she said begrudgingly. “I think she might be willing to entertain the idea. Wait here, and I will call her.”

  She turned and walked into the backroom, leaving me alone. Every second that passed was torture, but rushing her would only ruin the deal.

  Besides, this was the closest I’d come so far. Perhaps I should have come to Lillai first, but I’d doubted she’d be willing to help, not for something like this. She was right. It was too much to ask, but I was ready to pay a much higher price to get Malphas back.

  She was my last resort, and I could only hope this paid off.

  More minutes ticked by. I paced along the counter, hands fisted at my side. My nails, broken and ragged from work, dug into my skin.

  I welcomed the pain. It aided me when I needed to focus.

  Lillai returned. “She will come.”

  Relief poured through me. “Who? And why is she willing to do this?”

  “Her name is Eva, and she was ensnared by the succubus. She owes you a life debt.”

  I winced. “I don’t see it that way. I don’t do this to curry favors.”

  Her eyes softened. “I know. It was the reason I changed my mind about you.”

  “Thanks,” I said softly.

  She nodded, then went back to cleaning the objects behind the counter. The message was pretty clear; she wasn’t interested in small talk. Since she hadn’t dismissed me, I assumed I was to wait until Eva showed up.

  It took her fifteen precious minutes to get there, and I was about ready to tear my hair out when she finally walked in. Not that I knew it was her when she showed up—several other people had come and gone in the meantime.

  “Let us go into the backroom,” Lillai said, gesturing behind the counter. “This is a private matter.”

  Eva nodded and averted her eyes as she walked past me. I put out a hand, not grabbing her, but just gently touching her arm. She froze immediately, and her body trembled.

  “Thank you for doing this,” I whispered. “You don’t know what it means to me. You didn’t have to—you don’t have to—if …if you’re only doing so because you feel like you have to…”

  She shook her head, her blond hair moving from side to side, then looked up at me from beneath her bangs. “I want to. To help you is an honor.”

  “You’re shaking.”

  “I am nervous.” She laughed. Even her laugh sounded nervous. “But it’s only because I didn’t think I’d be in a position to help you. I didn’t think to meet you in such a personal fashion.”

  “Well thank you, again.”

  She nodded, smiling at me, and we walked into the back room together.

  Lillai was already getting busy preparing things. She had a silver dish laid out on an altar table with a crystal in the center.

  “Eva, are you familiar with the process?”

  “I’ve never done this before.”

  Lillai pressed her lips firmly together. “I will direct you. Blair, take a seat.”

  Without a word, I did as she instructed. I knew better than to ask questions when it came to Lillai. She was used to being obeyed, and it was only by her will that this was happening.

  Eva stood beside Lillai at the altar. “What do I do?”

  “Bless both the bowl and the crystal. Then chant as you reach within yourself, into the very center of your soul. Your essence will be there. It takes a different form for everyone, but you will know it when you touch it. Pull a piece of it forth and direct it into the crystal.”

  Eva did as she as told, then took the crystal in her hands and began to chant.

  There was nothing to see at first, just a small, skinny casting a spell. She began to glow, energy pulsing around her. I felt the change all around me, the way the air became charged and hung around us like a dense cloud. Light began to flow from her chest to the crystal, so much so I grew anxious.

  She was giving too much. Not that I knew a lot about a person’s essence, so to be fair, I didn’t know how much she was giving comparative to how much was inside her. But it still seemed to be more than what was safe.

  Lillai seemed to agree with me. She barked a sharp word, grabbing Eva’s forearm.

  Eva shook her off and kept chanting.

  “Enough!” I lurched to my feet. Lillai’s shocked eyes snapped to mine.

  My order did the trick. Eva let go of the crystal with a gasp, letting it fall into the silver dish with a clang. She swayed on her feet, and Lillai guided her to a chair.

  “You gave too much of yourself,” Lillai scolded her like a small child.

  “I had to make sure she had enough.”

  I went to stand in front of Eva and leaned down, bracing myself with my hands on my knees. I regarded her with a stern look.

  “Listen to me. You’re important, cared for. Do not give so much ever again. You should value your own life more.”

  Her lashes lowered, and her cheeks turned pink. “Yes, miss, of course. I’m sorry.”

  I straightened and focused on Lillai. Her eyes held a mingling look of surprise and approval. She gave a brief nod.

  “She should rest,” I said. “I will check on her when I return from my mission. If anything happens…”

  “I will call you,” Lillai said.

  I wasn’t a healer, not by a long shot, but the girl had given much for me. I was responsible for her now. I eyed at the altar.

  “Is there anything else that needs to be done?”

  “No, the crystal is charged,” Lillai said. “You may take it and use it for your ritual.”

  “Thank you.” I touched two fingers to Eva’s shoulder. “And thank you for your gift. You have my gratitude, and I owe you a debt.”

  She smiled softly. “There is no debt. It was freely given.”

  “Still. Call me if you have a need, no matter how small.”
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  Her cheeks flushed again, and she bent her head. I didn’t have to be a mind reader to know how grateful she was, even though it was me she had helped. Knowing—seeing—I was making an actual difference in other people’s lives warmed my insides.

  They stared at me, and me back at them, engulfed in awkward silence. There was nothing left to do, but I felt I should stay or do something, say something.

  Lillai gestured toward the bowl. “Don’t tarry on our account. Your friend needs you.”

  “Thank you.” I hurried to the altar and picked up the crystal.

  Without another word, I left the shop, a renewed sense of determination filling me.

  I was one step closer to finding Malphas.

  Chapter 5

  I had never been so impatient in my life. The sun was setting by the time I reached my house. I grew frustrated, even though it only took me the few seconds to sprint from my car to the front door. Aggravated by the time it took to lower the wards, I kicked the door shut once inside and uttered a quick word to raise the wards. I raced down to the basement without wasting time to remove my jacket or my gear.

  The wands in their holsters at my thighs jiggled as I rushed down the stairs. Fred was waiting and ready by the ritual circle. Hazarding a guess, he’d been waiting there since I left the house, not wanting to risk making me wait any longer than necessary.

  “You is getting it?” He sounded hopeful.

  “Yeah” I pulled the crystal from my jacket pocket and waved it in the air. “Let’s do this.”

  He gestured to the circle. “Prepare yourself, Miss.”

  Right.

  Gritting my teeth, I laid the crystal on one of the workbenches and shirked my jacket and thigh holster. I took a deep breath and shook out my limbs, cracked my neck, and smoothed my hair back, before taking another deep breath.

  I had to be in the right state of mind no matter how small the spell and this spell wasn’t small. You never knew what could happen if you mucked it up; it wasn’t like it would just find the wrong person. I could end up inadvertently doing a different spell altogether—with catastrophic consequences.

  “I’m ready.” My tone was more even now. I paced around the circle, softly chanting as I called it into action. When I came around to where I’d started, I pushed a small amount of will into the circle, snapping it shut. The air became charged, and the presence of the invisible column of energy raised in front of me.

  I grabbed the crystal, clasping it in both hands, and settled in front of the circle. I chanted slowly, tasting the words on my tongue as I spoke them and made sure I got them right. It was the first time doing this particular spell. Fred had only given me the words the night before.

  Can’t mess this up. Have to get it right. Malphas is depending on me.

  I still couldn’t call him by his nickname, not even in my mind.

  I was halfway through the spell when the crystal activated. The same light as when Eva had charged it flowed into the center of the circle and fueled the spell.

  Fred made a nervous sound to my left, but I ignored him. He always got anxious whenever I tried something new, or something big he didn’t think I should attempt. I didn’t know which it was this time—probably a bit of both—but it didn’t matter.

  I never let his worry stop me from doing whatever was necessary.

  The light stopped flowing, and it swirled inside the circle like a dense fog.

  The last words of the spell left my lips. For a moment, there was silence. I sat still, forcing my muscles to stay relaxed, as I waited.

  Waiting was no more my strong suit than patience was.

  The spell came upon me all at once, jerking me out of reality. My vision swam, and then I was flying—through space, but not time.

  I flew faster than light across the earth. Everything blurred around me, and then I realized I wasn’t on Earth anymore.

  It was hard to tell with everything moving so fast, but this seemed to be the Fae realm.

  What would Malphas be doing here?

  He didn’t have business with the Fae, as far as I knew. He’d never mentioned any dealings with them or had spoken more than a few words about them. It had seemed the topic of the Fae had been off limits like he didn’t want to talk about it.

  Always did wonder about that. Maybe he had a falling out with one of the queens.

  Before I could ponder it any further, the world that flashed by wasn’t recognizably Fae anymore. There was a purity to the air around me, but I couldn’t make out the features on the ground or of the buildings I flew by.

  I got a deep sense of not belonging, though, like I was trespassing.

  If I had a physical form, I would’ve shuddered. As it was, all I could hope was that it would pass momentarily.

  It all changed again, and I came to a sudden stop, hovering high up in the air. I had a bird’s eye view of the world beneath me, but I didn’t recognize anything.

  The ground appeared dead. Not just like a desert, all dried up and empty, but worse. It was blackened and cracked. Little rivulets of fire coursed within the cracks, feeding to somewhere unseen.

  Something pulled me in one direction, but I couldn’t move to follow the sensation. I strained to see where it was trying to bring me. My eyes locked on a dark castle—more of a fortress really—down below.

  There was a darkness about it and a sense of foreboding, of danger.

  The tugging sensation sharpened, but I still didn’t move.

  Where the hell was I? Was this where Malphas was?

  The answer formed in my head.

  Hell. Desirius.

  Oh, hell. This was hell. Malphas was in hell.

  Well, duh, where else would he be? He lives here.

  Maybe it should have been obvious, but I didn’t know where the fuck an angel would keep a demon. Hell seemed like a strange place for them to get their freak on. I had assumed an angel couldn’t pass into hell.

  Maybe Malphas had been hiding out, and the angel had no choice but to come to him.

  All at once, I was pulled backward, like a rubber band finally snapping. Everything flew by even faster than the first time. I returned home and back in my body.

  It felt like I’d been physically shoved inside. I rocked back with the force of it and barely managed to stop from smacking my head on the concrete.

  “Bloody hell,” I muttered, sitting up straight again. “What a ride.”

  I’d never done a locating spell like that before. Most of the ones I’d done had been simple, local stuff. A pendulum charged with the purpose of finding a specific individual would lead me around London, in an almost useless fashion, until I caught up with the person in question.

  But this was different, strange.

  “Is you findings him?” Fred squeaked beside me, his forehead scrunching with concern. “Is you all right?”

  “Fine, I’m fine.” I waved one hand languidly. “I think I found him. Not that I actually saw him, but the spell brought me to hell. So, he’s gotta be there.”

  His eyes widened, horrified. “No, Miss, no! You is stopping now.”

  “Why would I do that?” I climbed to my feet. I dusted my hands off, then went and put the crystal on a shelf. “I don’t give a fuck where he is. I’m going to save him. There’s nothing anybody can do, or say, to persuade me otherwise.”

  “But Miss Blair!” he wailed, tugging at the bottom of my shirt. “No mortal is going to hell and ever returning! Is not been done!”

  I spun around and grasped his tiny shoulders. “Didn’t you hear me? I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck. Doesn’t matter if no one has come back before, I’m going. And I’m coming back, with Malphas.”

  “But Miss Blair you is promising…” His eyes welled with tears.

  My heart softened. “I always promise, and I always keep it,” I gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, Fred. I’ll return.”

  “But…but…no one is coming backs from hell.”

  “Who has ever heard o
f a human getting all the vampires in London to submit? Who’s heard of any Wizard calling a familiar the size of Weylyn? I’ve done a lot of things no one has before; this will just be another notch on my belt. Don’t worry.” I tried to sound more confident than I felt.

  Fred was always right. He knew things. That was his job. He’d been around the block longer than most anyone, except maybe Raven. Raven was, well, no one really knew what Raven was. A god? Maybe. Fred wasn’t as powerful, but he was old as dirt and knew more than he let on.

  If he said something, it was true.

  So, no one had gone to hell and come back, eh? Well, that was not a comforting thought. I couldn’t let it shake my purpose. I would go to hell and drag Malphas’ arse out, so I could give him the tongue lashing he was due.

  And maybe an actual lashing on top of it.

  Kinky.

  I flushed. Where the hell had that thought come from?

  Fred sniffled, then drew himself up as much as he could, puffing out his chest. “You is taking someone with you. You is not going alone. I is not allowing it.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “Allowing it?”

  “Yes, Miss. I is not. I is not caring what I is having to do to stop you. If you don’t take someone with you, you is knowing I can do it.” He glared at me.

  I sobered. Fred was right; he could stop me if he wanted to. The little guy had a helluva lot more power than you would expect just looking at him. I’d asked him to strike me once, just once, as a part of a training exercise.

  He’d laid me down flat in less than a second.

  “All right, fine. I’ll take Weylyn.” I shrugged. “Happy?”

  He kept glaring. “No, is not possible. Weylyn is not able to go.”

  “The hell? Why not?”

  “Is not possible. Familiars can’t be goings to hell. Is just not possible. He cans not be going through by any means. Not even death.”

  I shuddered at the thought of Weylyn dying. I couldn’t handle it.

  Deep inside, I felt it would be possible to recover from anyone’s death. Many would break me, leave me a shell of who I’d been, but I would survive. But Weylyn? I’d die if he died. There wouldn’t be any other choice. He was a part of me.