Tainted Light Read online

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Tainted Light

  Book Seven of the Codex Blair Series

  Izzy Shows

  Copyright © 2017 Izzy Shows

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Cover Design by James T. Egan of Bookfly Design LLC

  BookflyDesign.com

  ISBN-13: 978-1981544202

  ISBN-10: 1981544208

  For my father, who never once questioned my dreams and always believed in me. My mother, who taught me the freedom found in creative pursuits. For Josh, my boyfriend, my biggest cheerleader, and my most devout fan. I couldn’t have gotten here without any of you.

  Contents

  Mailing List

  Also by Izzy Shows

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  39. Mailing List

  Also by Izzy Shows

  About the Author

  Want a free book? Sign up for my VIP list to get The Fallen’s Crime for FREE! Normally $2.99! Subscribe now!

  Also by Izzy Shows

  The Codex Blair Series

  Grave Mistake

  Blood Hunt

  The Fallen’s Crime

  Dark Descent

  Wild Game

  Grim Fate

  High Stakes

  Samhain Resurrected

  The Fallen Hunter

  Tainted Light

  Summer Storm

  Anthologies

  Codex Blair Omnibus 1: Books 1-3

  Ruled by Blood

  Blood Captive: Origin

  Blood Huntress

  Blood Slave

  Blood Queen

  Space Mage

  Eradicated

  Provoked

  Enslaved

  Recalled

  Chapter 1

  The sound of my laughter was still new, and odd, to my ears. It was a rarity, but one I was experiencing more and more of late. I was learning, slowly, it had been something I’d missed.

  At the moment it was Fred, the imp who lived in my home, making me laugh.

  I was a little out of breath when my laughter subsided. “You can’t seriously think that.”

  “Of course I is thinking it!” Fred screwed up his little face at me and crossed his arms over his tiny red chest. “You is laughing at me.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I wiped a tear from my eye. “I didn’t mean to, but you have to admit it’s funny.”

  He glared for another half a minute. Then a slow smile crept across his lips. I couldn’t help but dissolve into laughter again.

  There was a knock on the door.

  I froze, and my head whipped around to stare at it. I wasn’t expecting anyone. All of my friends were at work, and almost no one outside of that circle knew where I lived.

  Who could it be?

  I glanced over at Fred. His eyes were wide, and he reached up to tug anxiously at one of his large ears.

  “What is it? Who is it?” I asked him, keeping my voice low.

  He shook his head. “I is thinking you should answer, but maybe I is needings to not be here.”

  And with that he popped off the couch and disappeared down the stairs to the basement, leaving me alone to contemplate the door. My gut churned as I tried to guess who might be on the other side and who had inspired such a reaction in Fred. There was only one way to find out, though.

  I got to my feet and tiptoed to the door. My hand hesitated outstretched for the knob.

  Fred wouldn’t tell me to open it if whoever’s on the other side was dangerous, but what if it’s someone I don’t want to see?

  That didn’t make sense. No one who fit that criteria would come to my home.

  The only other person who knew where I lived was…

  No, he wouldn’t come calling. He knew better.

  With a deep breath, I waved my hand once to lower the wards and opened the door.

  My heart stopped.

  Malphas.

  Oh, gods, it hurt so much to look at him. His shaggy black hair was in a disarray around his naturally tanned skin, and his—

  He was gone. I bit back a gasp and took a step outside. I looked left, then right to see if he might be hiding around the corner, but he wasn’t.

  Had I imagined him?

  “I’m losing my gods-damned mind.” I had started to back into the house when he flickered back into view.

  The blood drained from my face, and my whole body went numb as I processed what my eyes were telling me.

  Two years. I hadn’t seen Malphas for two years, not since that awful night he’d removed the mark. Yet, here he was on my doorstep. And gods, did he look worse for wear.

  He wore a dress shirt with a red tie and black slacks, but the shirt was torn and bloodied—were those stab wounds?

  My heart seized again, panicking at the idea someone had hurt him. I ruthlessly pushed those emotions to the back of my mind.

  I don’t care what happens to him. If he was stabbed, then he got what he deserved.

  But Malphas was Fallen—an angel who rebelled—and couldn’t be hurt by mortal means. A stab wound would’ve healed in no time. But here he was bleeding on my front porch.

  I shifted and tucked a lock of my white hair behind one ear, then crossed my arms defensively over the black tank top I wore.

  “Blair…” His voice was a rough rasp as if he
’d either gone days without speaking or had been screaming for a long time.

  I tightened my lips and took a step back.

  “What are you doing here, Mal?” I winced. The pain that came from using my old nickname for him felt like a physical blow to the gut. I corrected myself with a soft whisper. “Malphas.”

  “I needed to see you one last time,” he said, pain in his eyes that spoke of so much more than I could ever understand.

  What did he mean one last time? My heart pounded in my chest, threatening to break through my rib cage, but I did my best to school my expression. Based on the flicker of pain appearing on his face, I failed

  “It’s not a good idea for you to be here.” I stepped back again, one hand going to the door.

  Shut it. Just shut the door, and be done. He’s hurt you too many times. Don’t give him another opportunity.

  He stumbled forward and braced one hand on the door. Gods, the desperation in his eyes.

  “Please. I’m dying, Blair. I just…I just needed to tell you…”

  My eyes widened, and alarm bells started going off in my head.

  One last time!

  He was dying? How? He was Fallen; he couldn’t die! No one could kill him. He was too powerful. This had to be some trick, a ploy to get me to talk to him again when he knew I didn’t want anything to do with him.

  “What do you mean you’re dying? You can’t come here and drop a bomb like that in my lap, damn it.” I scowled. As much as I wanted to slam the door in his face, curiosity ate at me. What if this wasn’t a ploy? “All right, fine. Come in.”

  I opened the door wider to let him in.

  He limped across the threshold and moved further into the living room, taking a look around. He had a far-off look in his eyes as if he remembered the other times he’d been here. I darted a nervous glance about as well, trying to see if there was something amiss.

  The tattered couch against the wall was the same one as before—it had been Aidan’s, and I’d never replaced it—and the coffee table in front of it was the same, too. It was the same two chairs on either side of the couch, and the bookshelf by the fireplace still sagged with all the sci-fi books Fred loved. New candles were dotting various surfaces around the living room, but that wasn’t abnormal. I didn’t have electricity. It always blew out on me.

  It didn’t look as if there was anything out of place, so why was he scrutinizing everything?

  Trying to commit it to memory perhaps. Because he’s going to die, and this is the last time he’s ever going to see it.

  I shook off the thought. That couldn’t be the case. Mal—Malphas— wasn’t the sentimental type. He’d proved that when he’d tossed me aside like the trash he clearly thought I was.

  “I’m…I’m sorry,” he said, his voice hoarse, as he turned to look at me.

  I stiffened and wouldn't meet his eyes. Instead, I focused on the fireplace behind him.

  “You’re sorry?”

  “I know it isn’t enough—“

  “You’re damn right it isn’t enough!” I jerked my head up to glare at him. “You carved out my heart, Malphas. I only just put myself back together. Do you know how hard it’s been? Emily almost gave up on me.”

  Yearning filled his eyes, and his lips quirked with a wistful smile. “She would never do that.”

  Damn him! He had no right to be wounded. He had hurt me, not the other way around.

  I grimaced. “Maybe, but it felt like I was losing her.”

  Healing from the pain Malphas had inflicted had been hard on the both of us. For a long time, I’d been too afraid to let her see how bad it was. I worried if she knew, she wouldn’t want me. Who would want to be with someone who was hung up on their ex? Not even their ex…we’d never made it that far. But she’d stood by me and never shamed me for how I felt. She was always so understanding.

  “She loves you. She would never leave you.”

  My cheeks flamed. He didn’t know. “Yeah, about that…”

  “You’re together now.” The smile he forced on his lips was empty of genuine warmth. “That’s good. You deserve each other. I hope she makes you happy.”

  His words hit my heart like little stones, though I couldn’t begin to understand why.

  “How did you know that?” I asked. “You couldn’t possibly know.”

  “How could I not?” His voice was a soft murmur. “I couldn’t just…go away.”

  “You’ve been watching me?” I flushed at the thought.

  “I’ve kept tabs. I had to make sure you were safe.” His eyes darted to the side.

  “Why?” I couldn’t keep the pain out of my voice. “Why would you care, after everything you said? You treated me like I was nothing to you. How could you do that?”

  “Because I had to, Blair,” he said, a pleading note in his voice. “I had to keep you safe. My brothers, they knew about you. You don’t understand how it used to be, or what they would expect from a human I spent time with. They’d have hurt you, used you, killed you. I removed myself from your life to stop that from happening.”

  I shook my head and lifted my chin. “I could have handled it. I could have handled anything, just not…”

  Just not you throwing me away.

  My voice cracking as my words trailed off.

  He crossed the room, surprisingly fast for one so hurt, and cupped my face in his hands. The gentle gesture brought tears to my eyes, but I did my best not to let them spill. Still, I couldn’t help myself from leaning into his touch and drinking in the warmth of his hands on my skin.

  “You were the one good thing in my life, and I couldn’t stand the thought of them laying a hand on you.”

  His voice was rough with emotion when he spoke. My tears spilled over onto his hands. I closed my eyes, dragging in a ragged breath, and turned my face more fully into his hand.

  Just for a moment.

  “I wish you’d told me,” I whispered. “We could have figured it out.”

  “I couldn’t risk it. Please, try to understand.”

  I shook my head, finally finding the strength inside to step away.

  “I’ll never understand how you can justify what you said.”

  His shoulders sagged, a look of defeat in his eyes. “I don’t expect you to. What I did was unforgivable, and if I had the time, I would spend my life making it up to you.”

  Damn him, but that only brought more tears to my eyes. I hastily tried to blink them away.

  “It’s not a trick?” My voice broke again. “You’re not just saying that to try and make me forgive you?”

  “I would never do that. As it is, I am chained to a wall at the moment with a demented angel trying to ‘purify’ me.” He laughed bitterly. “She’s going to kill me in the process, even if she doesn’t mean to.”

  My heart lurched.

  No, this wasn’t fair! I wasn’t going to let him die. Damn it; he couldn’t get off so easily.

  “But—”

  “There’s no time. I don’t know how much longer I have left. I just needed to see you again, even if it is just a dream.”

  I frowned confused. What the hell?

  “It’s not a dream, Malphas. You’re standing here in my living room.”

  “Of course you would say that. Dreams don’t want you to figure them out.” He smiled. “I don’t mind.”

  A frustrated growl bubbled out of me. “I’m not a dream, you idiot. Tell me where you are. Right now. I’m going to come and find you.”

  Because, damn it, he wasn’t going to leave me.

  “You can’t. Even if this weren’t a dream, I wouldn’t tell you. Your safety is the most important thing to me, and I wouldn’t risk you even for my own life.”

  My temper flared. “You stupid, pig-headed man. I would kill you myself if that angel weren't already doing it. You never left me alone to fight. Why can’t you let me help you?”

  “I deserve death, Blair. And I’m tired. Just let me die.” He shrugged one shoulder, d
efeated. “It’s past my time.”

  “No!” I rushed to him and, grabbed tight to his shoulders. “I won’t. I can’t. Please, don’t do this to me. I’m not ready…”

  He flickered like a television program with lousy reception.

  “Malphas!”

  Chapter 2

  He was gone. I stared in horror and disbelief at the place he last stood, willing him to come back. He’d disappeared before and come back, hadn’t he? He could do it again.

  The minutes ticked by, and with each passing one, I began to accept he wasn’t coming back.

  Just like that, he disappeared.

  “No, no, no, this isn’t happening.” I gripped either forearm as I paced. “It’s not real. Just a dream, like he said. I’m going to wake up any moment now…”

  But I didn’t. This wasn’t a dream, no matter how much I wanted it to be. Hadn’t I dreamed of him a thousand times since we’d parted ways? Why couldn’t this be like that?

  He’s dying, Blair. Get yourself together. He needs you!

  I gritted my teeth, forcing the spiraling thoughts of despair out of my head. I had to focus to get the job done. I snatched my cell phone—the cheapest, the most basic model I could find—off the coffee table and dialed. If anyone knew where Malphas was, it would be Lilith.

  We had hung out countless times in the past two years—my falling out with Malphas hadn’t affected our friendship—but we’d always steadfastly ignored the topic of him. I got the feeling she’d been waiting for me to bring it up, but I hadn’t had the strength to go there.